The kidnapping of a fangirl
The kidnapping of a fangirl: what to do if you're a fangirl being kidnapped
23-07-2021 • Nerd • by Sofia A
Okay, hold your horses everybody. You read the title, but nobody is going to get kidnapped today. And I won't talk about how to kidnap actors or actresses to make them our boyfriends and girlfriends either.
(I obviously never thought about that. And I surely didn't just put it in my to-do list.)
I'm actually going to talk about something else that still has to do with fangirls and fanboys and kidnapping. So, if you're one of them or you want some useful tips for escaping your kidnappers, then keep reading.
A couple days ago I was thinking about what I would do if I were to get kidnapped, as one does. Hey, it could happen.
Anyway, if that were the case, since I haven't been bitten by a radioactive spider yet and nobody has gifted me a super suit yet, I'd have to look after myself. I thought about that for a while, then I had an idea.
I realized that I have a superpower! I'm a fangirl! Plus, I talk a lot.
These two talents are going to save me from my kidnappers.
Well, I'll simply have to think about one of the millions of fandoms I'm part of and describe the plot to my kidnappers. The entire plot.
Imagine being kidnappers who decided to kidnap a young girl, thinking that her parents would pay the ransom and then you'd become rich. Well, how much time would you stick to your plan if I started talking about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? You know, it's made up by 24 movies and three tv series. For now.
I'm giving you maximum two hours, then you'll give me back to my family and run away to Alaska.
Okay, okay, I'm a Ravenclaw, so I can't ignore the big problem in my awesome plan. Duct-tape. Yeah, cause every respectable kidnapper should have some duct-tape.
Actually, scratch that. I don't want to give advice to any potential kidnapper. (But, let me tell you, what kind of kidnapper doesn't know this?)
Anyway, if my kidnappers were competent and had duct-tape, I'd make sure to arrive at a very interesting point in the plot, then stop and innocently ask: "Don't you want to know how it ends?"
If you decide to talk about the Marvel Cinematic Universe I suggest you arrive at the end of Infinity War. Success guaranteed.
So, nerdy and non-nerdy friends, this is my tip for you. Use it with caution and please, don't try to see if it'd work by putting yourself in danger. Let me tell you, cause I trie... No, it's better if I don't say that.